The Found Journal of a Lost Boy: December 2011

     So for the longest time I didn't know what to write about for a new blog. Things seemed to be going fine. Well that's a lie. They seemed to be going fine then I hit yet another rough patch. I recently was watching the recent Daily Grace video and she talked about this video that I went and looked up before she even got into talking.
     It's a very popular video out there and I know why now. Because the kid who made that video has major, major guts! He is one brave kid. I admire him and I hope that somehow this reaches him and he reads some of my blogs to know that he is not alone.
     The kid in the video is named Jonah and he was and still is being bullied. Being called gay, fag, homo, etc etc. He cut himself, starting in the second grade, and he has thought of suicide. At the end of the video he tells us that he is not going anywhere. That he has a million things to live for.
     As I'm typing this, I can not handle my emotions. I'm even in the public place of pizza hut on campus, tears rolling down my cheeks.
     This video needs to be seen. By everyone!
     I know where this kid has been, I know where he is because I'm in it everyday! I've been bullied almost my entire life. All of the names he has been called I've heard way too many times said to me. I even had the nickname of “Ferry Jerry” back home. I've had scissors thrown at me from buses. I've had threat letters to my locker. I've even gotten so very hurtful facebook/myspace messages.
     I don't know how to say this, but I must. I have thought about suicide, which angsty teen hasn't right? However, there is always something that keeps me from doing it.
     I want you to all know this because I want people to realize they are not alone out there. There are others, like Jonah and myself, who have been hurt and have wanted to die from it. You need to know that no matter how terrible things seem now, that they will, and I stress this cause it's like the fucking story of my life, but they will get better! You will hit rough patches and you will get so low that suicide is the only answer, but think about it. You could make a difference in someone's life.
     I'm currently reading the book Thirteen Reasons Why, which was going to be my new blog post, a review on this amazingly wonderful book I'm reading for the fourth time, but I think this is a good place to bring it up in.
     It's about a young girl who killed herself and made 7 tapes, 2 sides to each, and on each tape was a story of a person. 13 people would receive the tapes, they would get it after the one before them. They would find out why she killed herself, and it was because of them. What they did, or what they didn't do. She was bullied and teased, rumors were spread about her and she couldn't take it anymore. She killed herself.
      This book is dark but very amazing and beautifully written! Things like this and that video made by Jonah need to be seen by everyone in the world! To know what impact they have! In the book the girl states on one of the tapes:
     “You don't know what went on in the rest of my life. At home. Even at school. And when you mess with one part of a persons life, you're not messing just that one part. Unfortunately, you can't be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life.
     Everything...affects everything.”
     It's all 100% true. When you bully someone, it doesn't just affect that one part of their life, it affects all of it, and with so many things out there like this video, I'm still surprised it's going on!
     I needed to share this part of my life with you all to know that there is someone out there that has gone through, fuck, that is still going through what you are! You are not alone and you will always have a friend!
                           XX

So everyone this last friday I went to the Ho, Ho Holiday Drag Show at the Palace Lounge here in Missoula, Montana. It was sooo beyond Fabulous!!!!! I can't even express how amazing it is! So I thought I'd put on one of my favorite Drag Queen's songs and you can listen to it while you look at SOME of the pictures! Check them all out on my photography page on facebook! Enjoy!

HO HO HOLIDAY DRAG SHOW!