"Turning my memories
Hoping to find out
where all the loyalty's gone
The friends that I had then
Turned into strangers
Thinking of you all along
If you see me now
You won't see me alone..."
The Holidays are now over. It is now a new year and it's time for people to feel less lazy by re-setting their goals and making new ones, only for them to be left unaccomplished and leaving that person feeling miserable about how they didn't really accomplish anything this year and that this year sucked and they will try better next year.
However, we all know that it just goes in a cycle and what people don't really focus on is the positive things that had happened to them in the last year. They always build up the negative aspects of it all and remember them and use it against themselves. Then they take it all out on the 'year' like it did something to them, however it's the choices one makes that can make a year go terribly wrong, or delightfully good.
The past year I can tell you I have changed so much. Once being a shy young boy just moving to Polson, I matured so much in this past year. From the mid of my senior year to this very point right now. I have undergone things that I wouldn't have even excepted!
The only reason why I'm bringing this up now, is because it wasn't until I got back to my hometown on the first day, that I realized how much I have changed. I saw some old friends, old classmates, old teachers. I looked at them and I watched them. That's when I took a step back and really watched them. I listened to their stories, trying to impress me because I'm now a college kid and they are still in High School, adults were trying to talk to me like I was a grown up now, my friends didn't feel the same...
I mean that in the way that I feel like I have out grown my friends here in Polson. Not like a pair of jeans that you just throw in the back of your closet, even though that's pretty much what happened. I just now know why I did. Because they are like a pair of jeans, like your favorite pair of jeans in the whole wide world. You wear them all the time because they make you feel lucky and good, they keep you safe and you have the best of times in them. They have been through a lot with you. They have wear and tear and patched up holes etc. But then there comes that time when they become to short or maybe too tight for you, and you know, no matter how much you love them, you have to just let them go.
That's what it is like now for me. This town was a pair of jeans, my friends were a pair of jeans, my old life was a pair of jeans. No matter how much I loved them, not all the time but most of it, they just didn't feel the same when I put them back on again. I had moved on and found a new pair of jeans that made me feel even better than what the old ones did.
I can't help that I've changed in the past months since I moved to college, it happens though. I don't fit in this small town, not like I did to begin with, but I don't seem to have anything in common with my friends here anymore. They have moved on with their lives and so have I, and I have found something just as good maybe better in Missoula.
I also realized how much I hate it being here... no wonder why I was on facebook all the effing time! I seemed to have developed this new relationship with my computer and I should start calling it honey and pooh bear. It's quite amazing how boring it is here. It doesn't help that all my “friends” here are still in high school, or they are gone somewhere else for college. It doesn't leave you much to do besides sit at home alone surfing tumblr.
However, this has been a great past year! With my much needed change in surroundings, my new friends, my new life, I have been through a lot these past months, and I have loved every single bit of it. It seems like I'm working on getting closer to who I really am and where I belong in this crazy world.
Missoula is the first step, as says Momma Jade! And I believe her, it's the first step towards life as being me, and I can't wait to get more of it!
XX
JW
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
2012: THE New Year
Hello my fellow readers and bloggers!
At the beginning of this next year... I will be looking forward to doing more things with my blog! Hopefully getting a better readership! As well as watching the new Season of Ru Paul Drag Race!
So get ready!!!
XX
JW
At the beginning of this next year... I will be looking forward to doing more things with my blog! Hopefully getting a better readership! As well as watching the new Season of Ru Paul Drag Race!
So get ready!!!
XX
JW
Friday, December 9, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
RE:What's going on...
So for the longest time I didn't know what to write about for a new blog. Things seemed to be going fine. Well that's a lie. They seemed to be going fine then I hit yet another rough patch. I recently was watching the recent Daily Grace video and she talked about this video that I went and looked up before she even got into talking.
It's a very popular video out there and I know why now. Because the kid who made that video has major, major guts! He is one brave kid. I admire him and I hope that somehow this reaches him and he reads some of my blogs to know that he is not alone.
The kid in the video is named Jonah and he was and still is being bullied. Being called gay, fag, homo, etc etc. He cut himself, starting in the second grade, and he has thought of suicide. At the end of the video he tells us that he is not going anywhere. That he has a million things to live for.
As I'm typing this, I can not handle my emotions. I'm even in the public place of pizza hut on campus, tears rolling down my cheeks.
This video needs to be seen. By everyone!
I know where this kid has been, I know where he is because I'm in it everyday! I've been bullied almost my entire life. All of the names he has been called I've heard way too many times said to me. I even had the nickname of “Ferry Jerry” back home. I've had scissors thrown at me from buses. I've had threat letters to my locker. I've even gotten so very hurtful facebook/myspace messages.
I don't know how to say this, but I must. I have thought about suicide, which angsty teen hasn't right? However, there is always something that keeps me from doing it.
I want you to all know this because I want people to realize they are not alone out there. There are others, like Jonah and myself, who have been hurt and have wanted to die from it. You need to know that no matter how terrible things seem now, that they will, and I stress this cause it's like the fucking story of my life, but they will get better! You will hit rough patches and you will get so low that suicide is the only answer, but think about it. You could make a difference in someone's life.
I'm currently reading the book Thirteen Reasons Why, which was going to be my new blog post, a review on this amazingly wonderful book I'm reading for the fourth time, but I think this is a good place to bring it up in.
It's about a young girl who killed herself and made 7 tapes, 2 sides to each, and on each tape was a story of a person. 13 people would receive the tapes, they would get it after the one before them. They would find out why she killed herself, and it was because of them. What they did, or what they didn't do. She was bullied and teased, rumors were spread about her and she couldn't take it anymore. She killed herself.
This book is dark but very amazing and beautifully written! Things like this and that video made by Jonah need to be seen by everyone in the world! To know what impact they have! In the book the girl states on one of the tapes:
“You don't know what went on in the rest of my life. At home. Even at school. And when you mess with one part of a persons life, you're not messing just that one part. Unfortunately, you can't be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life.
Everything...affects everything.”
It's all 100% true. When you bully someone, it doesn't just affect that one part of their life, it affects all of it, and with so many things out there like this video, I'm still surprised it's going on!
I needed to share this part of my life with you all to know that there is someone out there that has gone through, fuck, that is still going through what you are! You are not alone and you will always have a friend!
XX
It's a very popular video out there and I know why now. Because the kid who made that video has major, major guts! He is one brave kid. I admire him and I hope that somehow this reaches him and he reads some of my blogs to know that he is not alone.
The kid in the video is named Jonah and he was and still is being bullied. Being called gay, fag, homo, etc etc. He cut himself, starting in the second grade, and he has thought of suicide. At the end of the video he tells us that he is not going anywhere. That he has a million things to live for.
As I'm typing this, I can not handle my emotions. I'm even in the public place of pizza hut on campus, tears rolling down my cheeks.
This video needs to be seen. By everyone!
I know where this kid has been, I know where he is because I'm in it everyday! I've been bullied almost my entire life. All of the names he has been called I've heard way too many times said to me. I even had the nickname of “Ferry Jerry” back home. I've had scissors thrown at me from buses. I've had threat letters to my locker. I've even gotten so very hurtful facebook/myspace messages.
I don't know how to say this, but I must. I have thought about suicide, which angsty teen hasn't right? However, there is always something that keeps me from doing it.
I want you to all know this because I want people to realize they are not alone out there. There are others, like Jonah and myself, who have been hurt and have wanted to die from it. You need to know that no matter how terrible things seem now, that they will, and I stress this cause it's like the fucking story of my life, but they will get better! You will hit rough patches and you will get so low that suicide is the only answer, but think about it. You could make a difference in someone's life.
I'm currently reading the book Thirteen Reasons Why, which was going to be my new blog post, a review on this amazingly wonderful book I'm reading for the fourth time, but I think this is a good place to bring it up in.
It's about a young girl who killed herself and made 7 tapes, 2 sides to each, and on each tape was a story of a person. 13 people would receive the tapes, they would get it after the one before them. They would find out why she killed herself, and it was because of them. What they did, or what they didn't do. She was bullied and teased, rumors were spread about her and she couldn't take it anymore. She killed herself.
This book is dark but very amazing and beautifully written! Things like this and that video made by Jonah need to be seen by everyone in the world! To know what impact they have! In the book the girl states on one of the tapes:
“You don't know what went on in the rest of my life. At home. Even at school. And when you mess with one part of a persons life, you're not messing just that one part. Unfortunately, you can't be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life.
Everything...affects everything.”
It's all 100% true. When you bully someone, it doesn't just affect that one part of their life, it affects all of it, and with so many things out there like this video, I'm still surprised it's going on!
I needed to share this part of my life with you all to know that there is someone out there that has gone through, fuck, that is still going through what you are! You are not alone and you will always have a friend!
XX
Twinks, Bears, and Drag Queens! Oh my!
So everyone this last friday I went to the Ho, Ho Holiday Drag Show at the Palace Lounge here in Missoula, Montana. It was sooo beyond Fabulous!!!!! I can't even express how amazing it is! So I thought I'd put on one of my favorite Drag Queen's songs and you can listen to it while you look at SOME of the pictures! Check them all out on my photography page on facebook! Enjoy!
HO HO HOLIDAY DRAG SHOW!
Kiara Drake and Friends
Vaginamyte Shagswell
Miss Celia Sanders
Jessip Akau
Johnny Spritzer
Some fun in the crowd with tips!
Ginger Shagswell
Disa Rae
Kitty Liquor
Some more Tip fun!
StevieDe La Luna
Getting a tip from his boyfriends mouth!
Just some audience participation
The NEW Christina Drake! Welcome to the Drag Family here!
Again, some more Audience Participation
The Fiercest bitch around! Kiara Drake!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
I was born bad
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Lana Del Rey, my new favorite indie pop singer! The past month I stumbled upon her beautiful song 'Blue Jeans' and fell in love ever since. If you enjoy some old hollywood glam with some chic danger you'll fall in love with this talented beauty. There is just something about that voice and that face I can't get enough of... and I'm gay... So sit back, relax and feel the danger of her music move through you!
Lana Del Rey Facebook
Lana Del Rey Youtube
Lana Del Rey Twitter
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