Today wasn't good. I'm not going to go into details, mainly because this is not one of those types of posts. However, this Saturday I'm excited to be going down to OUTFEST in Missoula with Cora and Molly. We will be meeting up with Nina, Devan, and Haley down there. So I'm pretty stoked for it and I'm ready.
Cora and I decided it was going to be good for me because, well first of all it'll be oozing gays out of every pore in Missoula, so that way we can find me a nice guy, who wants me more than to just to use me. So I'm on the hunt for guys, but I don't know how it's going to go... After crying for a good hour over how much my love life sucks, I began thinking of why it does. Why am I so terrible at getting guys to like me? Psh, to even remotely look at me! So here is a list of reasons why I can't seem to get a guy:
1. I'm socially awkward.
2. I've grown up in a small town with a huge lack of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender) culture.
3. I've never had a real relationship.
4. I scare away just about every new person I meet.
5. I scare away just about every new person I meet because I'm socially awkward.
6. I might be slightly mentally handicapped.
7. My best friend is a dog...
8. I am too fat...
9. I'm too skinny?
10. I get attached easily.
11. I'm a Gemini... yeah I don't know what that has to do with anything...
12. I get over emotional watching movies about Japanese Vampires.
13. I get over emotional watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
14. I'm too god-damn over emotional.
15. I'm too nerdy.
16. I think I'm going crazy... or I've been crazy... that doesn't really seem to fly too much with guys now-a-days.
17. I believe the aliens, while testing my body late at night and rupturing a nerve that makes me unmotivated, also put in a chip in my head to make me seem unappealing to the male population.
18. I'm uglier than I thought I was.
19. I wish I could have had a relationship with one of the Hardy Boys.
20. I'm loud.
21. I'm obnoxious.
22. I'm loud and obnoxious. (Which is why I'm socially awkward and scare people away.)
23. I was born with a some sort of disease that makes me think I'm beautiful when I look at myself but I'm really hideous like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
24. I am the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
25. I laugh at my own jokes.
26. I'm not as funny as I think I am.
27. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too gay?
28. I realized... I'm too gay.
29. I'm sexually frustrated.
30. I have no life.
31. I like to facebook stalk people.
32. Whenever I find someone I like, I follow them while singing, “Prisoner” by Jeffree Star quietly.
33. I'm terrible at flirting. (Honestly, I'm pretty sure they think I'm mentally handicapped.)
34. I'm dead and I'm a ghost so they don't seem me and I'm just lingering around this world waiting for my true love that will never come. So now I'll be stuck forever and I can't move on!
35. I'm not sexually appealing, you'd rather bring me home to your parents rather than throw me down and ravish me on your kitchen table... I have needs you know!
So that is it, those are all the reasons why I can't get a guy... or so I think so. Maybe something great will happen. Life will mysteriously go up in this long elevator ride to whatever floor it wants to go! So I can't wait for Saturday... I only hope I'm not too damn socially awkward like usual...
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