Recently I've been feeling, how do I put this... well to be blunt, unmotivated and lazy. However I've been forcing myself to get up, do yoga, and eat at least one meal a day (which is usually dinner.) Here is a little recap of what my weekend/ first part of the week has been like:
Went to OUTFEST, and to be honest, I was a little disappointed. Some booths were cool others were lame, there weren't very many people there and I was really actually disappointed. In my head, Cara Park was supposed to be filled with lots of gay people, booths of artists and what not. It wasn't. So Molly, Nina, Cora and I all ended up spending the day together around downtown Missoula, going into almost every shop down there and talking to a cute guy, seeing a hot cowboy, meeting a sweet girl, and seeing what Lady Gaga will look like when she is about 80. It was a good day; could have gone better by me not loosing my wallet and then locking Molly's keys in the car, but hey at least I got the keys out of the ignition and the car by using wire hangers through a small crack of the sun roof.
When I was doing a friends senior pictures, a certain guy texted me and told me he was going through Polson.... That was it. So then later one night he texted me: 'Passing through Polson again.' Which I replied: 'So are you coming to see me or something?' He replied: 'No.' I replied: 'Then why do you think I care?' It all ended in him calling me a douche bag and telling me I've been acting like an ass. Well I'm so sorry but I don't care if you are passing through Polson unless you are coming to see me! That's with anyone!
I'm doing about three peoples senior pictures this week. One of them today at four o'clock, then continuing tomorrow at six in the morning, then followed by some twins at eight in the morning... So I've been kind of busy due to that. But hey, at least I'm making some money!
It is one week till I move down to Missoula in my dorm and I'm super, super excited! It'll be my start to college life and I'm so ready for the move! Getting out of this disgustingly small hopeless town will do me some good in the romance department as well as finding a job and hopefully a career.
So that's been my life recently! Yeah, and on top of it I got a text message from facebook this morning about a message from one of my best friends dad. Now I'm going to go talk to her about what is going on and going to try to get her to tell him. I don't know if this could go horribly wrong, or delightfully right. I guess we'll just find out.
So now that I've informed you about my life and the happening-ness of it all, I'll tell you what's been going on through my head the past couple of weeks.
Now the past couple of weeks you all know I've been obviously dealing with a guy problem! Now most people resort to doing something about it! Like calling them and talking to them about it, or visiting them and talking to them about it. Anyway, it always resorts in them talking to them about it. Do you know how hard it is to talk this guy about anything! Like seriously! I'll text him and end up getting one word responses, or responses that don't ever answer the question. It's this stupid game he likes to play and it's starting to piss me off!
So like I was saying earlier, when someone is having troubles with a certain guy/girl in their life they usually resort to things such as working it out, talking about it, or even just talking to friends about it. Well I can certainly tell you that I'm so past all of those I'm down into the depression of the realism that it is forever over. And what do most girls do in a situation like this? That's right, stuff their face full of fatty, unhealthy, greasy foods all while watching a romantic comedy with girlfriends.
However I'm not a girl nor am I a typical male either. I resort to myself. The last thing I want to do is be around a bunch of people when I already feel so alone. I know I'd be with drawn from them and not want to do anything, and I don't want to be cheered up (Sometimes it's good to give it a few days to do wallow.) So what do I resort to?
Nutella and RuPaul's Drag Race.
If those are the two things you guessed, well you either stalk me late at night, or you know me way too well. Oh I also forgot to mention late night depressing posts on tumblr.
Yes, I have started a relationship with Nutella and RuPaul's Drag Race. It's sad I know, but what am I supposed to do? Get up and move on with my life? Psh, that seems like way to much work! Especially if that certain guy texts me and wants to know how I'm doing, it'll boost up his ego while I tell him that I'm degrading myself as a future lover to anyone!
Of course I could turn to friends, but I realized they are probably all sick of me telling them about him, and I know I am sick talking about him. So I turn to my good friends that can't judge me, Nutella and RuPaul's Drag Race.
However I know these relationships will not last either. I've only had my Nutella for about two days and I'm already almost out of it! As with RuPaul's Drag Race, there is only so many episodes and I'm halfway done!
Maybe when that relationship is done, with my hazelnutty spreadable goodness and my funny makeup caked TV show, I'll be able to reflect on my life and realize how worthless I was being. Thus deciding to forget all of those sad depressing days and telling myself I'm going to be better than all of that and I'm going to meet someone worth while in Missoula! (Did I mention I only have a week till I moved down there? I did? Oh well I'm saying it again!)
So if there is one thing I'm learning from this experience !(as well as from the wise words of Emilie Autumn) 'gentlemen aren't nice,' but Nutella and a reality competitive TV show about Drag Queens can brighten anyone's day!
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