I've noticed something about Polson. Polson on a Sunday is like a ghost town in the middle of winter. You see only I would be seen walking around in a ghost town with a tank, shorts, and combat boots on in the middle of winter. Of course I'm walking to be less alone. Hoping that maybe some how I'll feel less lonely then I am? Maybe that this ghost town would, I don't know, transform into a loving person with an excited face, opening up its arms to me; making me feel that I might belong, but no.
I don't feel that.
And of course the only other person that would be out, is homeless Joe, with the Wolf Den sign glowing eerily above his head inviting in other lonely strangers.
I had a dream last night, and I don't know what to make out of it. I'm usually really good at these things. Figuring out dreams for my friends and it seems to make total fucking sense. Yet, whenever I try to figure out my dreams, I always have the hardest of times, because it all could mean so much that is going on in my life. It's weird really.
In this dream I had a really weird feeling. I don't know what it was, but it was as if something was trying to tell me that I needed to be alert, so I was at all times. I was getting prepared for whatever was going to happen, and I was ready at any moment for anything. Yet, nothing would happen.
It soon got to be night out and I couldn't sleep. I was trying to but I just couldn't. (I think it's because I was already asleep.) I felt tired and I felt like I needed to sleep but I just couldn't, no matter what I tried. It was then as if I needed to move, to get out of my house and just go somewhere, yet I didn't know where to go in the middle of the night in Polson, since Polson pretty much closes down at ten.
Yet I had this desire, this need that I needed to fullfill to go somewhere. So I found myself walking out of my front door like I did this sort of thing all the time and I was walking. My feet were bare, I remember that, and I could feel the rocks pinch at my feet as I walked over them. This whole time, I felt like something was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon. The feeling inside of me only got stronger with every step I took, I had to get away from something that was going to happen. I had to get safe.
I was suddenly in this new part of the town that I had never noticed before. It was as if someone built this overnight and it had been there for all the years I had lived in Polson. It was so strange and I wondered where I was, if I was still in Polson, but I knew I was. I had to be, and no matter how much I wanted to stop and look around I couldn't stop, I had to keep walking. Soon I was at the bottom of a giant hill that seemed to overlook everything and then I started climbing. It was a tough climb, but it was as if I gracefully floated up to the top. I stood atop that hill and looked down.
I was looking down upon the new part of Polson as well as Polson itself. Up from this giant hill I could see everything that was happening. Street lights illuminated the sillhouette of the city giving it a kind of greeny outline. Yet I didn't know why I was up on this hill, I just knew deep down inside of me I had to be there.
I soon found myself standing there completely buck-naked. Entirely exposed to all of Polson and the new part of Polson, and I didn't even remember taking off my clothes. To be honest, I don't even remember if I was even wearing clothes before I got up there. If I wasn't, it wasn't until just then that I noticed. I looked around, embarrassed, but I was alone up there on that giant hill over looking the old and new Polson; I got a sense of freedom and relief and felt totally comfortable after.
Then tremors shook the giant hill and at first I started to freak out, or at least in my head I did. I did know however, that no matter what I would be safe up here. Of course down below I heard screaming and saw lights from houses go on. People ran around like little ants whose path has been blocked.
Off in the distance I saw a giant wave wash over the old Polson, quickly making it's way to the new part. I watched. It was like a wave from the ocean that had washed up on shore destroying a small sand village, everything was being destroyed and people were drowning. All this time, I was completely at ease.
I felt a hand interlace it's fingers with mine, and I looked to my right to see a boney hand with a scar as if it had been burned. I contiuned to gaze upon the mysterious body, seeing that the burn scar was connected to more all up and down it's arm. All I remember was that the body was naked like I, and I could not see the face of this mysterious being that was holding my hand. We did not do anything. We simply stood there and watched all of the town being consumed by the wave. I tried to say something but a boney finger came up to my lips to shhh me. I looked into the blurred face and we embraced, our naked bodies touching, our heartbeats matched. That was when I saw the wave right in front of us...
I woke up in a sweat. I want to know what it means, especially since it's one of the very few dreams I remember all the details of. But maybe that's the point of it, I'm not supposed to know what it means, or at least the conscious part of me, but maybe the sub-conscious part is the only one that does and should know. That's okay, because I could use a little more mystery in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment