July 21, 2011: Dear Depression, You suck.

The sick feeling that my old friend depression is near, and has been lingering above my head for a couple days. That presence that overwhelms you from what you were planning on doing the day before, as you wake up, drained of any life what so ever. You are weak and powerless. You can barely open your eyes or get up out of bed to take care of the dog that is yelling in your ear. He cries for attention. Food.
He makes everything become a blur. You can barely hear the dog, you can barely feel the touch of your sheets rubbing between your stubbly legs; your body is insensible from the Novocaine that depression as secretly tapped in you. He is hooked up to you like an IV, dripping small amounts of what feels like death into your veins. No matter the obstacles, you try and try to get up.
It's a personal victory when you do get out of bed though; however, his presence is still right next to you, numbing your emotions. You have to piss and when you are done, you have no energy to get up off the toilet, and you think to yourself, 'I should take a shower today.' As you think about it, he is right by your ear, whispering ever so lightly, 'Eh, I could just do it tomorrow, today will be a lazy day... just like yesterday... and the day before...' You seem to agree with the small voice in your mind.
Everywhere you go your own house it is like he oozes down the walls, covering them in a thick layer of sorrow. You look around at what you could do to preoccupy yourself, get away from depression just for a minute. You think about calling your friends and hanging out, he whispers again, 'Hm... Nah, They'll probably just talk about ______ all day, it'll be boring. What would we do in Polson? Go to the lake? Yeah right,boring?' Yet you want to be around someone, just to know you are not alone.
You never realize how alone you are until you are in a room full of people. Then it gets depressing. No matter how hard you want to get rid of depression, he never fully leaves. He just stays in the shadows, waiting for the right point in your life to lunge like a pernicious snake. Poisoning you slowly until you are too weak to suck out the poison. That's when your only hope lays with a friend to help you out of the paralyzed state he has left you in. Even then, I don't know if that will be enough...