Outside the wind howls like the sad cry of a lonely owl. The dark sky illuminates every few minutes with a flash of what I can only imagine is a giant dragon fight that is going on above my head. The fantasy of life swirls around me with the dust and leaves. Leaves that have fallen in a disarray of depression that haunts them like it does me. I look up to the sky and see all of this beauty going on and it makes me smile. However, this isn't a smile of happiness...
It's funny how I keep thinking about you, knowing damn well and good that you aren't thinking about me. After our 'adventure', or whatever you want to call what we did, I sat in my room every damn day waiting for my phone to buzz. Those special words that said “NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM _______.” But no. Nothing came, and day after day my friends would say, 'No, wait for him to text you.' So I did, but did you text? No. Did you call? No. Did you even facebook my ass? No. I just didn't understand why?!
Finally I make the move, you never seem to want to talk. I bring out my feelings, you take offense. Why? What did I do? I only heard the lyrics to I'm Still Breathing by Katy Perry in my head.
“Maybe I was too pale,
Maybe I was too fat,
Maybe you had better, better luck in the sack.”
So finally after a good two weeks, we broke things off. You didn't want to get committed, and I saw what I was to you. I was a bag of goods, someone to get you off. I was a back up plan after your last 'relationship' was not going the way you wanted.
Thanks for using me asshole!
Maybe one night stands should stay one night stands?
Now I sit here, looking up at this mess up in the sky and only seeing beauty because it reminds me of my soul. The fight that is inside of me, conflicting wars of wanting to remember you but trying to push you away at the same time.
What really hurts the most, I think, is the fact that you could move on with your life so easily. While I put on this fake smile and parade around like I never met you in my life. I delete you from my contacts, I 'de-friend' you on facebook. But everyday I'm faced with remembering the things we did and loving every moment of it, wishing I didn't! It was so easy for you to get rid of me, maybe you can spill your secrets so that I can get rid of you!
The sky illuminates the fear in my eyes while I watch it. A war of dragons is what I want to think, but I know that it's all inside.
Thanks for ruining my life.
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