I sit outside, watching the few cars that go down my street pass by. I only hope that one of them might be a strapping young lad that has by chance stumbled upon my house, and wants to take me to some magical place. However I know that, that is not the case. No matter how much I want it to be. I also know if I did go with this strapping young lad I just met, that things would turn rocky, and our relationship would soon become as confusing as a Sodku puzzle. (Yes I do find them confusing, Math sucks.)
That's the thing about relationships... or the things that lead up to relationships. They are confusing as fuck! Excuse my language, but they are. You can meet a guy that is, well in your mind perfect. However, trying to actually get them to like you is a wild goose chase that will never be won. It isn't until you do something with them, like hangout, makeout, do whatever, that you see the real colors come out.
My friend for example. She is with this guy, and I know she really likes him and I hope that he really likes her (although from what she tells me, he does.) But right when they did stuff, BAM so many obsticales come to play into this weird thing that you don't know what to call. Is it a relationship? Is it just a foreplay friend thing? What?
Of course, being you, you would want to be in a relationship with this strapping young lad that you have come to like after you've hung out and other stuff... Yet, he is reluctant. He doesn't want to hurt an old “fuck buddy: or his best friend. Of course you understand, or atleast you say you do but you really want him to just say screw it and then do you right there.
What I don't get is why get, is why is liking someone so... sorry to say it again, but confusing? You can have a total connection, or at least you think you do. Then BAM nothing. He stops texting, calling, talking to you. It's like a form of punishment. You feel like you've done something wrong, but you aren't quite sure you did. You are too obviously afraid of talking to him about any of this, because you are afraid he already see's you as clingy. You just want to ignore the fact that you ever met him but yet you don't want to stop thinking about him. Or, more like you can't stop thinking about him.
It's all so confusing! Can't we all just be straightforward like Jenna Marbles? In her video “People I would Fuck,” she says it like it is. “I like you, you like me, let's get together...” Why can't the world just work that way sometimes? Some people would like to comment that, “Oh but then the world be less 'adventurous'.” You know, I'm okay with that! I just want to find a nice guy that can just like me for me and just kind of be honest and straightforward with me! It would make my life a lot more simple so that way I can have my full attention on my pressing matters in life, such as the fact that I'm trying to find a job, getting a drivers license, and finding money for college.
Now maybe I'm just tired and cranky from not eating today but I don't know if I'm fit for this finding love thing? I'm socially awkward, I don't like to drink excessvily and I've never done drugs (except for those that are prescribed to me). Everyone I seem to want to have a thing for is obviously out of my league. I'm not drop dead gorgeous, or beautiful. I'm always just cute. Yeah... I don't think I'm cut out for this whole thing we call love... Sure I'll love my friends, my family, celebrities, I mean sometimes even random people I meet off the street. But it's not the love that I've been looking for, for about 13 years of my life. (I say 13 because it wasn't until after 5 when I wanted to have someone like Simba did with Nala.)
But I guess my time is up, since men's primes are at the ages of 17- 24... It looks like I'm not getting any “cuter.”
No comments:
Post a Comment